Let’s kick things off with the breakfast between Miss Lawrence & Kenya gave us a recap of Porsha’s relationship with Kordell, & how Porsha’s only purpose in the marriage was a “trophy wife” (she just wasn’t much of a trophy, & defined their marriage as a “gift certificate”). Real talk, when Kenya said “you can take Porsha’s certificate & redeem it for one coloring book” was funny as hell (cause we all know Porsha’s not the “sharpest knife in the drawer”). Now on to the excursion to the cave tunnels!! Kandi, Todd, Kenya, Miss Lawrence, Peter & Cynthia are in one van, & Porsha, NeNe, Gregg, Phaedra, & Apollo are in another!In Kandi’s van, the central topic is her pending nuptials to Todd. Let me just say, GOD BLESS TODD, I don’t know too many men who would stick around in a situation where the possible “mother-in-law” is so vindictive like Mama Joyce! Todd seems like a genuine guy who wants to bring the family together, but it’s impossible to do that when Mama Joyce is manipulating the relationship behind the scenes! Kandi seems afraid to address Mama Joyce head on (BTW, anytime Peter is the voice of reason concerning their relationship, you know it’s a REAL PROBLEM)!!! As Peter said, Todd’s patience will eventually run out if Kandi doesn’t intervene, & put her foot down with her mom. Real Talk, I really hope everything works out Kandi & Todd, & they find their “happily ever after.”
Everybody went into the cave tunnels, & Kenya wanted to get in the “fountain of youth” which she encouraged everyone to “take off their clothes.” “So Kenya Said She Found The Fountain Of Youth? Well Her Ass Shoulda Drank The Whole Thang,” was the best line from NeNe tonight. Of course, Phaedra was not about to let Apollo get in the water with Kenya (Phaedra would lay his a$$ out), & for a minute or two, it did seem like EVERYBODY was about to chicken out. Kenya, of course came ready with a yellow bathing suit (so did Phaedra), & needless to say, most of the couples (with the exception of NeNe & Gregg & Cynthia & Peter) did enjoy a swim in the cave tunnels. While Kenya was walking around in her bathing, Apollo was secretly drooling like a “dog in heat,” LMAO!!
During the whole “Fertility scene,” I actually sympathized with Kenya cause she does seem to genuinely want to be a mother (I honestly hope things work out for her in that area). I liked the bonding moment between Cynthia, Kandi, Miss Lawrence (yess Gawd, honey), Kenya, & NeNe (who did a good job pretending to give a damn). Like Kandi said, “this is the Kenya that she prefers getting to know rather than the over-the-top twirling Kenya.” I really think these ladies opened up about their vulnerabilities (raising daughters, wanting to be “daddy’s girls,” & being loved those other than their parents). Is it me, or does Miss Lawrence feel right at home discussing fertility with the ladies???? I didn’t like how Porsha & Phaedra were dissing Kenya at the pool ( I wasn’t here for it)! Porsha had so much to say about Kenya (we get it, you can’t stand the woman), but you need to be worried about how you gonna pay for ALL OF THAT CREDIT CARD DEBT & THAT BIG A$$ HOUSE!! I know Phaedra wants to slap the piss out of Kenya, BUT there was no need to go on a “Let’s bash Kenya” fest with Porsha at the pool!! BTW, Porsha you talking a lot about spirits & Kenya intentions at the cave tunnels, BUT what the hell was you on when you said that the “Underground Railroad” was an ACTUAL TRAIN STATION with your “phone a friend” DUMBA$$???
Okay, now it’s time for the … HIGHLIGHT OF THE NIGHT! The fellas all wanted to get together & spoke “cigars” (Bravo wants us to think that, so I’m gonna flow with it). Peter, Todd, & Apollo start talking about Todd’s situation with Mama Joyce. He even describes how he wanted to have lunch with Mama Joyce just o clear the air once & for all, but she wasn’t interested. Side note, Mama Joyce, sit yo’ a$$ down somewhere, drink your Metamucil, go have sex, & leave Todd & Kandi THE HELL ALONE!! All of a sudden, Kenya & Miss Lawrence sashay over to guys to have a couple of drinks, & have a smoke or two. BTW, was I the only one that caught Kenya said “If anyone knows about sucking, it would be me????” Alright, I see you girl.
Kenya was 100% wrong trying to setup Apollo, BUT Apollo is a grown a$$ man, all he had to do was (in Peter’s words), KEEP YOUR A$$ IN YOUR SEAT!! Todd volunteered to “chaperone” Apollo (newsflash, if Apollo was a REAL MAN, all he had to do was walk away to another table or LEAVE, no one should have to tell your MARRIED A$$ WHAT TO DO, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU KNOW WHAT NOT TO DO)!!! Phaedra, I don’t blame you for being pissed, BUT you need to check Apollo BEFORE you check Kenya cause he’s your HUSBAND, & at the end of the day y’all are married & share 2 kids, & he’s 2 grown for this $hit!! Kenya, all I’m gonna say is, YOU KNOW YOU WAS WRONG!! Kenya knows damn well that Apollo wants her a$$, & she played him like a fiddle. I get you wanted an explanation from Apollo, & you kinda got homeboy to tell truth in a way (he admitted more than he would have had Phaedra been around)! However, all you had to do was sit with Phaedra one on one, or sit down with Apollo AND Phaedra!! The fact that Apollo got his a$$ up at all to walk over to the bar & talk to Kenya, told me ALL I NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT KENYA & APOLLO’S “SITUATION.” Real talk, The sexual tension between Kenya & Apollo was thicker than a Philly Cheese Steak sandwich!!! Apollo needs leadership & guidance, that’s why he married his “mother figure” Phaedra (so I went there, but I had to, LOL)!
Next week, Grandpas Gone Wild, starring Peter & Gregg (& I can’t wait)!! Peter vs NeNe part 2, & Phaedra vs Kenya (with Apollo looking like a scared puppy, lol)!!